I was at a funeral yesterday.
She was one of mom's closest friend -- in fact all her siblings are close to us. More like families than friends.
I used to live back in the hometown with my grandparents. I know them my whole life.
They untied the kain kaffan to let us have one last look at Auntie M.
She had her usual smile. She left in peace, I was told. She didn't suffer.
Alhamdulillah.
My whole journey back home -- the thought of how short life is filled my head. This isn't something I think about often. I was busy pursuing after my career. I was busy finding temporary happiness.
I uploaded a photo of myself wearing a headscarf to Facebook late yesterday. I received so many comments and likes and well-wishes from friends/colleagues/families.
It made me smile.
My bestie and I exchanged some messages about the photo I uploaded last night.
"If it makes you feel lebih dekat dengan God, and makes you happy. Pakailah."
I love her. I love how positive she is about things.
And my boyfriend, well, he said it is my decision and he loves me no matter what I choose to do anyway. He wants me to make sure if I make such decision (in this case, to wear the headscarf) -- I do it not because I'm being forced, or because everybody else are doing it.
I know it's a huge decision.
If I start wearing headscarf, I would like it to be a permanent thing. Not just wear it today, and take it off tomorrow -- like some I've seen.
I will also need to make changes to my lifestyle. No more bikinis, short skirts, dresses, sleeveless tops.
My good friend J said I should start by wearing a selendang. Get myself (and people around me use to it) before fully covering.
I like taking baby steps. And it is something I will definitely do in this situation.
Please keep me in your prayers, everyone.
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